I have never felt so high
I have never felt so high
I have never felt so high
I think I’m coming down

I have never laughed so loud
I have never laughed so loud
I have never laughed so loud
I think I’m coming down

Nothings going to stop me now
Nothings going to stop me now
Nothings going to stop me now

Please
Please don’t leave
Easy feeling
Don’t leave me like that
Not yet
Don’t set me
Free, free, free, free, free…

Coming Down Anais Mitchell 

The One

About a month ago I met the perfect girl at my best friends parties. We started talking and for a good couple of hours we just couldnt stop. She is one of the nicest, sweet, creative, beautiful and talented people I have ever met in my life. I dont what it was but we just clicked. Thats why I think she is the one. Saturday night I saw her perform in a musical called sweet charity, the way she sang and danced was amazing. It was one of those moments in my life that I would live over and over again. I would like to think she could be the one. The thing is I cant stuff this relationship up, I think she is perfect for me and I dont want to do any to jepodise it. She is the one I think I’ve been looking for and at last I have found her.

Don’t Fuck Around with Love

I’ve been played a couple of times and to be honest it is about the worst thing you can do to someone emotionally that emotion can make people do many things. Crazy things and that they would not normally do. People in there teenage years often forget this and don’t understand. I my self have matured quite quickly which means often I am more serious in the relationship than the past partners I have been with. The relationship means a lot more to me than them and the only way I see there true colours is when we break up. The past couple of days I have come to understand the people who I thought may have been the one. You only truly know someone until you break up with them (if it’s not serious, this is certainly not the case in relationship for most people) and that spell of love slowly gets weaker the cracks start to appear in the other person. These cracks eventually get bigger and bigger and then you ask your self why would you go out with the person in the first place. What I have learnt in previous relationships is to take your time and make sure you fully know that person and you can trust that person. As Cat Stevens (now Yusof Islam) said in his song father and son “take your time, think a lot, think about everything you got, you will still be here tomorrow but your dreams may not”. So basically don’t rush into these things reflect and make sure you know and you are sure that this is the right person. I had a conversation with a person and they said they accepted a relationship to get experience. You should never have experience relationships are not like jobs you shouldn’t have a great deal of experience if you have actually thought about what you are accepting or asking someone. Only if you truly have fellings for the person should you accept or ask because can make people do crazy things and hurt people. 

Depression

Not sure if I’ve got it or not. With this roller-coaster of emotions I am going through at the the moment with more downs than ups. Ever since I broke up with my x two months ago. Things have not been the same and to be honest I don’t what is wrong with me. I find it hard to go to places were we use to spend time together and it often sets me off again. It seems stupid really but when your in that mood there is no reasoning or logic to it. It feels like I am at the bottom of a whole and some days I get to just my stick my head of the hole then I fall back down to the bottom and can’t see the top. It’s like a cycle. What keeps me sane is music and triathlon. But sometimes not even those things can help. I need to find another way out of this never ending hole and get back to the world of happiness, the world of sanity and the world of normal people. 

F Am C
I have spent most of my life alone
F Am
My family has gone off and left me on my own
F Am
Now I’m stuck in this place
G C
I don’t know whether I’ll ever get out of this place
Chorus
F C
I don’t belong here
F C
This ain’t my home
F C Am
I can’t wait for the day I’ll be able to take my first pace
Am G F C
I don’t want to die here and for the time being I am bound to this place
F C
Every day I pray for God’s forgiving Grace
F Am C
From the day I became a Catholic, I was Loyal, saying my 3 rosaries a day
Am
I am starting to lose faith
G F C
I don’t know whether It’s God’s will for me to get out of this place
Chorus
F C
I don’t belong here
F C
This ain’t my home
F C Am
I can’t wait for the day I’ll be able to take my first pace
Am G F C
I don’t want to die here and for the time being I am bound to this place

F Am F C
The people who look after me lack in care
F Am C
Sometimes it’s like my voice is floating off in the air
F Am F C
They aren’t helping me to walk and it’s not fair
C Am
I can’t leave until I take my first pace
G F C
And until that day I am bound to this place
Chorus
F C
I don’t belong here
F C
This ain’t my home
F C Am
I can’t wait for the day I’ll be able to take my first pace
Am G F C
I don’t want to die here and for the time being I am bound to this place

A song I wrote this week about I person I know in a nursing home who can’t get out Because she can’t walk, her mind is still in tact and she know’s what is going on around her. She is one of the most faithful people I know and God does not seem to be answering her prayers. I hope something changers for her soon. Anyway here it is. What do you think? 

Never Make A decision when your on a High or a Low

Never make a decision when your on a high or a real low, make the decision when you are in between. This week has been a roller coaster of emotions for me it started off well so I thought going to a Josh Pyke concert which just happened to be in the a spot were my ex-girlfriend and I spend a lot of time with each other and this reminded me of her and made me want her back. Which is sad because it’s been a bit over a month since we broke up and there is a part of me who still wants to be with her again. I don’t know why I just can’t see fault in her sometimes even though sometimes I feel that maybe she did not want to be together and said yes because she thought she had to. It’s hard to know whether she did or she didn’t or maybe she broke up with me because she thought that I wouldn’t understand that I wouldn’t be able to see her because she’s busy or maybe she did not feel that she could tell me the real reason why wanted to break up. This is the circle I keep going through not sure whether to be feel anger or want her back. It’s effecting how I live my life and my decisions and at the moment I’m in a real low which is making the days drag on. I’m not sure whether I should quit my job and just focus on triathlon and music. The things that keep me sane and make me happy. Music is an amazing thing and some days you’ll feel like your apart of it, it’s like you are at one with it. I started learning to sing and band this week which made me happy for once. I keep making quick decisions that I regret like looking for new work because the problem was not the job. I am not sure if I’ve got depression or I just need to force my self to move on with my life. But one thing can be assured it will be music that will help me get better. There’s apart of me that just wants to stop everything and just play music and run that is all. But it is not possible because of these strange things that stand in the way called commitments which in away force me to keep going so they could be seen as a good thing. So as I am still in this roller coaster state of mind going from tiny high to  a massive low I need to find that in between high and low, the equilibrium. What keeps you sane and falling into a low?

Decisions

One the most annoying things people have to make, it’s what keeps you awake at the night and it can drive you crazy. Whether it’s waiting to ask someone out or thinking about making other changers to your life. The past couple of weeks I have been tempted to quit my own job. It’s hard work for crap pay but the only thing that is keeping me there is the people I work with. It’s like a family there and there is part of me who wants to stay because of that. I’ve been presented with another opportunity which would mean that I earn a hell of a lot more. The question that is driving me crazy is, is a greater amount of money worth more than the great people I work with. At the moment I can’t make a single a decision let alone about the line of work I’m in. It’s hard to know whether to keep going with my current job or cease a new opportunity. When is the right time to grab or new opportunity?

One Way Love - Me
Verse 1
The more I got to know you I knew you were the one. Dm Am Em Am
All day and night, my love for you was putting up a fight. C Am Em C Am Em Am
And I couldn’t stop thinking about you. Dm Am Em Am
And I didn’t know what I would do without you. C Am Em C
Pre Chorus
I was so sure the time was right. Dm G Am Em
I thought we were so tight. Dm G Am Em
Chorus
It’s this one way love that pierces a hole. Dm Am Em Am
It’s this one way love that’s going to take its toll. Dm Am Em Am
Now I can’t stop thinking about you.
If only I could just be with you.
Verse 2
I offered you my soul, I offered you my love.
I would give anything to be with you, if only your love was their too.
My heart longs for you and my heart knows the feelings true.
I thought I would be with you.
Pre Chorus
I was so sure the time was right. Dm G Am Em
I thought we were so tight. Dm G Am Em
Chorus
It’s this one way love that pierces a hole. Dm Am Em Am
It’s this one way love that’s going to take its toll. Dm Am Em Am
Now I can’t stop thinking about you.
If only I could just be with you.
Verse 3
The feeling wasn’t mutual and I couldn’t force it upon you.
So the one way love has nowhere to go and can’t be shown.
This passion and affection will never see daylight.
This love must be supressed and it’s making me depressed.
Why, oh why can’t I be with you.
Oh why oh why do I have to be without you.
Pre Chorus
I was so sure the time was right. Dm G Am Em
I thought we were so tight. Dm G Am Em
Chorus
It’s this one way love that pierces a hole. Dm Am Em Am
It’s this one way love that’s going to take its toll. Dm Am Em Am
Now I can’t stop thinking about you.
If only I could just be with you.
Chorus
It’s this one way love that pierces a hole. Dm Am Em Am
It’s this one way love that’s going to take its toll. Dm Am Em Am
Now I can’t stop thinking about you.
If only I could just be with you.
If Only could just be with you.
A song That I wrote It’s about a girl, I thought I was in love with but she didn’t feel the same way. 

Young People and Drugs

After so many Muso’s have died because of Drugs, like Kurt Cobain and many others who apart of the 27 club. I would have thought there deaths would be significant enough for people to say hey maybe that aint such a good idea and is it really worth it. I have many friends who are taking the gamble with drugs like pot which can give you permenant mental health issues, just for one small high that they might get from smoking it. Is it just me or does it seem that the risk of screwing up the rest of your life vs. a small high far out way taking the drug in the first place. How many people does it take to die or seriously harmed by drugs for people to see that talking drugs is a stupid idea? 

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